Habits

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We become what we repeatedly do.
Sean Covey

Over the last couple of years, my husband and I have been implementing small changes in our family's lives to hopefully help us become closer to each other and healthier in our minds and bodies. It’s amazing to look back and see how those small things have become routines--most of the time, we don’t consciously think about doing them anymore. Our world has plunged into panic and fear and the unknowns of a danger we cannot see--but our family has remained remarkably unshaken. It’s not that we’re somehow lucky. We aren’t oblivious to the changes in our state and nation. But our lifestyle choices have helped smooth the transition from “business as usual” to our new normal of social distancing. I wanted to share those small choices, not to brag or to offer some cure-all, but to offer some practical things we do that have kept us sane as we stay at home. 

1. We keep a regular rhythm each day. We wake up each day around the same time. We eat meals around the same time each day. We take naps/downtime around the same time each day. 
2. We get dressed every morning. I learned this one from my mom growing up. Even if we’re not planning on going anywhere or seeing anyone, there’s something about putting on day clothes that’s refreshing and makes me want to be productive. 
3. We try to do something productive each day--no matter how small. We work on a house project, I clear out my inbox, or bathe the dog, or organize a closet. When I lay in bed at night, I can feel good about something I did that day.
4. We step away from social media and news. It’s one thing to remain informed about the world these days, but I know from experience that it can quickly turn into a vortex of anxiety, what-ifs, and dark thoughts. 
5. We try to stay grounded in the moment. When we’re working, we’re working. When we’re with friends, we’re with friends. When we’re eating, we’re eating. Not checking texts, not playing a game, not wishing we were somewhere else. This is a huge help to me as an introvert who processes and analyzes everything. But it’s hands down the hardest one on this list to do.
6. We make a mental list of the things we can and cannot control. We live in a time where we are bombarded by news from every corner of the world. There’s nothing we can do about most of these things, so we try to focus on what we can do. 
7. We stay active. This one is easier for my husband because of his line of work. But the kids and I do yoga, have dance parties, do yard work, and go for walks.  
8. We eat well as we can. I ate really poorly as a kid. When l I worked at a catering company in college I learned to use real food in my meals--and have continued to learn since. These days, I watch food shows and subscribe to food magazines to keep me inspired to eat well.
9. We’ve built up a community of friends and family both locally and around the world. I had always been a “gotta do it myself” person. Hard times and experiences have taught me that I need people. I’m learning to keep loved ones in the loop about our lives. That has made this time so much less lonely.

We don’t have it all figured out. We've certainly had our share of terrible days. Each of us is a complex and ever-changing creature who can't be summed up in a neat, little list. But after trial and error for years, we’ve settled on these and many more routines of our family’s life. These are the things that will, hopefully, and as much as humanly possible, keep us moving towards mental and physical health. Life is already so unpredictable. People are hurting everywhere. We want to be our best and do our best so we can be a safe and reliable place for others. 

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. John Dryden

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